Sunday, October 02, 2005

Can I help you?

True Story....

I was driving home from a play in the park with the kids and driving up a residential street I saw a woman standing in the middle of the road, talking to the driver of a car going in the opposite direction. The car pulled away and the woman staggered back into the middle of the road, I tried my best to avoid her but she jumped almost in front of me. I slammed on the brakes as she was desperately waving me down. I thought, What's going on, does she need help, questions raced through my mind. I wound down my window and she came up. She opened her mouth and whatever she was eating hadn't gone down yet, so in her excitement, some of the food particles flew out and onto my car. What was so important that she was waving down cars in the middle of a busy road?

"Have you got a smoke mate?"

Moi? A smoke? Lady, I'm the last person in the world that would have one.
So that was the emergency, as I sped away so no more food would be spat at my car, I could see her waving down more cars.

Kill me before I get that desperate.

19 comments:

Melba said...

what is it that would have TOI standing in the middle of the road, waving down ve-hicles capey?

for me it might be good indian, or a doner kebab

Panthergirl said...

So gross, on so many levels. We hate smoking in our house (my son's dad died of lung cancer, leaving an 8 year old boy fatherless. And for what?)

Here via michele!

Cape Man said...

Good question MG, I'm not sure what I would stop traffic for. Probably not food. Maybe grand prix passes. That would make a good meme thingy.
"What would you stop traffic for?"

Hi panthergirl, welcome. Same attitude here. I have no tolerance for smoking.

aprilbapryll said...

People come up to your car all the time in Tampa, but since I moved out of the city I don't see it too much. That's a little much though -- I don't roll down my window; if I can understand through the glass, then I might get it but otherwise I'm driving away. But then, I'm a girl ...

BTW, I'm making this belated visit via Michele's; Blogger was being stupid this morning.

mj said...

Sounds like she was pissed as well.

Cape Man said...

m!key, I reckon she may have been pissed, it was well after 1pm and I'm sure a half dozen breezers would have been downed, but I didn't catch a whiff of alcohol as I copped the food spray.

Unknown said...

HEY-I LINKED YOU TO MY SITE!

ChickyBabe said...

Growing up with a chain smoking dad put me off for life! So glad he woke up one day and gave up.

The nerve of some people!

Chatty said...

That's amazing. I hope it was worth getting run down. Eventually someone will pop her.

Michele sent me.

Unknown said...

Your story reminded me of something that happened at about 11:30 pm. I was driving home after a dull night out. I was the only car driving uphill on a major thoroughfare when a guy flags me down. Scary! Crime is so rampant here, so I slowed, then safely pulled around him and sped off as I phoned for an ambulance on the cell phone. He had been bleeding. Fortunately, the paramedics were nearby and got to him. Creepy night. Yes, I hate cigarette smoke of ANY kind.

Cape Man said...

Hi Melissa, thanks for visiting.
Not sure how you got here, especially when you used "some one banged my car" in a search engine to find my blog.
Hope your situation rights itself soon.

Melba said...

capey, you gonna let her stay? it's spam, man... and she is using her kids, if that's them, to try to get your pitty

BEVIS said...

Plus, she uses spam that says 'this great country that we live in', but she's from America! She doesn't even care that she's spamming inappropriate spam to an Australian blogger! Talk about Americans being so short-sighted that they think everyone else on the Internet is also American!

(And yes, I was talking about this. Just now. To my friend Ramon.)

Also, there's a school of thought that asks how they can be defending America by killing innocent Iraqis, but let's not go there. Vietnam was embarrassing enough.

No wonder she took comments off her blog, if she's going to spam other people's blogs and say such drivel.

Hit that delete button, buddy. C'mon! You can do it. We're all behind you. (Except Melissa's kids. You're making them cry.)

Melba said...

yeah delete, delete, delete!!!

[mg starts stamping and waving fist in air]

Cape Man said...

Hey all, if I delete the spammer, then all your other comments will make no sense, so i'd have to get rid of them too.
So I'm gonna leave it and let's all pretend that it's gone.

Melba said...

[mg stops mid-stamp, and mid-slow-handclap with a puzzled and dumb look on her face]

oh, right. ok.

[nudges bevis]

he's right.

[puts hands around mouth and shouts to cape man]

JUST DON'T SEND HER ANY MONEY!!!!!!

Cape Man said...

Thanks for the warning MG.

[shuffles desk to hide cheque book]

Cape Man said...

Hey Nutty, thanks for visiting. Now get back to writing some witty stuff and stop making excuses.

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